When in recovery from an eating disorder, the fear of gaining weight can feel overwhelming.
Part of you may really want to recover and another part of you is trapped in feeling incredibly critical and scared of your changing body.
For many of my clients, this aspect of recovery is immensely confronting.
Some of the comments I have heard in my therapy room about accepting weight gain are:
“I worry my body will never stop growing.”
“These pants used to be too big and now they’re too tight.”
“I’ve used being skinny as a way to feel good about myself for so long, that I don’t know how to feel good in this body.”
“It feels scary to not be in control of my body size.”
“I believe in body positivity and HAES, but I still feel gross in this growing body.”
“I believe in body positivity and HAES, but the rest of society doesn’t and I don’t want to be stigmatised.”
Following are a number of articles and books that address the fear of gaining weight in eating disorder recovery. Read More
If you are considering counselling or psychotherapy, or you’re already seeing a therapist, you may have wondered how often you really need to go.
This is a question most new clients ask me.
The answer is weekly is usually best.
Due to financial considerations, I do have clients who see me fortnightly, however, there are distinct differences in the amount of therapeutic progress made and in how easily we reach the roots of their pain.
Some of the reasons weekly counselling works so well are:
• Weekly sessions help to build and maintain the ever-important relationship between client and therapist – a factor well-known to be the most significant in terms of therapy effectiveness.
• Weekly means half the session isn’t being used for ‘catch up’ each time.
• There is a sense of being held and cared for – a feeling of safety – which then leads to ‘diving deep’ and unearthing the root causes of pain, in a gentle and supported way. Read More
I looked up the definition of perfect in the Merriam-Webster dictionary.
“Having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.”
This left me thinking, ‘whose desire? As good as it is possible to be for what? Who decides this?’
Perfect is such an incredibly arbitrary and absurd concept. Related to your body, it makes no sense.
It also means that not one, single one of us is perfect. Thank goodness for that!
Bodies can be saggy, bony, have cellulite, use a wheelchair, be large, small, chronically ill, toned, hairy, wobbly, fatigued, freckly, rashy, patchy, pale, dark, red, tall, short, fat, pain-ridden, of various sexes, genders and sexualities, big-boobed, no boobed, stiff, flexible, angular, soft, young, old, and on and on.
In addition, you are so much more than your body.
Your body is one fraction of many, varied aspects that make up who you are.
You can also define yourself by aspects such as what you love doing, what you’re interested in, what you’re good at, your beliefs, your goals and your cultural and social identities. Read More